One Shot Guy

We live in a cellphone world. Where everyone owns a cellphone and every cellphone has a camera which means lots of pictures. Lots of pictures of basic white girls looking into a scenic shot, face swaps from snap-chat or selfies. More often then not people use their phones to take and share pictures instead of actually communication with other people.

And in every group there is the friend who has a selife stick. And we have all been part of a groupie photo and been actually thankful they had that self conceded piece of photography equipment. But often times we are out with the squad and no one has a selfie stick. So in order to document the fun times we have had and prove to the world we are having fun times, we ask someone to take a picture. "Hi, can you take a picture of us?" The person says sure, grabs our phone and takes the picture. And by the term, "picture" we mean "pictures".

One does not simply take one picture anymore. We don't have to worry about film or the cost to develop it. It's better to over document our fun times instead of missing a fun time by taking choice photos. And one time me and my friends went on an adventure and we didn't have the slefie stick friend there. So we asked the nicest looking person there to take our picture. And he gladly did. He took our phone and took a picture.

He took A picture. One. He only took one. Who does that?! Is this man just so confident in his ability to take instagram worthy photos? Is this random man secretly a national geographic photographer and we were just documented by a photo god? After looking at the picture I would say he is none of those. He was just a guy who either had better things to do than take our picture or he realized life is more then just snapping pics of your fun times. Whatever his motives were, sir, I have this to say, take more photos please. You  just click the little button a few times and that is it. Even my mom who still has a flip phone knows that when we ask her to take our picture that is code for "pictures". Out of everyone in the squad that was in the picture, I was the only one who shared it to social media. So this will simply become a memory where we don't have pictures to prove we had fun. All we have will be our stories and this one picture. Stories are nice, but, those don't get likes. Likes, shares and favorites define if a person is living a successful life, right?

Teachers

I've had a lot of education and a lot of teachers throughout my time. There was one year in high school where I had to do write a lot of poems. So one of them I wrote for my teacher who was a big lady ad rather scared me. You'll feel the fear coming from the poem.

Walking in, feeling scared, wanting to pee

This evil teacher is going to try to kill me.

Holding tight to my desk, waiting for the bell

Wiping the sweat from my brow, this surely has to be like hell.

Shaking with fear, she picks on me, I squeal “E-Gaz!”

Hearing my hesitation she yells, “Read SPAZ!”

This is no class; this is no fun

Wincing whenever she speaks, always wanting to run.

I jump when I hear the bell, for I am free

Until, “Write a ten page essay and turn it into me.”

This is just horrible, how can it be any worse

Until she tells me to write one more verse.

I’m at home and I am still shaking, can I ever be free?

My English teacher scares the shit out of me.

I wouldn't say I have had one teacher that has really motivated me to become something better. Or a mentor that inspired me to do something great. But to all my teachers who made me feel of worth, I say thank you. I may not become the next president, a famous movie actor or anyone really of worth. But, you have influenced my life in ways that I can never repay. Thank you for all the nights you stayed up late grading assignments or making plans for a lesson to teach. Thank you for putting up with all the sarcastic comments I have made. And thank you for helping me believe in myself. And finally, don't judge me if I have typos. I couldn't english then and I can't english now. 

Negotiation

In one of my classes the teacher was talking about negotiation. So, he started walking around the class room and pulling out different examples from peoples lives. He asked who was married and then asked if the men had to negotiate with their wives. Everyone laughs and says it's more of the men negotiating with themselves and deciding what battles are worth negotiating over.
Then, my teacher calls on this girl and asks her what was the last social interaction with a human being before class. He was looking for small examples like saying goodbye to someone or see you tomorrow kind of thing. But the girl got all awkward about her story. So the teacher perused.

Teacher: "What was the last interaction with a human being before class?"
Girl: "It was with someone I cared about."
Teacher: "Did you negotiate with them?"
Girl: "Sort of."
Teacher: "What did you negotiate?"
Girl: "Our feelings for each other."
Teacher: "Did you get your feelings across?"
Girl: "I'd say so."
Teacher: "Was it verbal? Non verbal expressions? Did you two come to a common ground or meet in the middle?"
Girl: "Yes."

The teacher didn't really seem to get what he wanted out of the story from the student so he just said how their conversation was a negation on trying to get information and deciding whether to give said information.
Little did the teacher know that before class, this girl was making out with her bae before class.

 It was one of those spectacle you wished you didn't see on your way to class and would hope they would just use a empty class room next time. I think they need to renegotiate what is okay and not okay to do out in public for sake of common decency. They used a form of verbal negotiation, they used their mouths for sure to express their difference in opinions. Their preformace of non verbal expressions didn't leave a good taste in my mouth but I'm sure they enjoyed the taste of each others mouths. Oh and they found middle ground. It was right in the middle of the hall way in front of the class. (This is the problem with showing up early to class, just show up on time. I would say show up late but I'm sure people ditch class to preform "negotiations" as well.)

#LDSconf

The most I have ever participated in this hash tag was last general conference with this beloved photo and caption coined from the family friendly film, Straight Out of Compton.

(If you listen to the song titled "Straight out of Compton" my words comment matches up with the first few lines. Just saying)

I was quite proud of this post, I was participating in a light hearted way. It allowed me to be able to say I was a online missionary and shared the gospel all while being a striaght thug while wearing a Mr. Rogers sweater. My last blog post was about participating in the Easter hash tag so of course  my teacher made us participate in the general conference hashtag. (I wanted to say she "invited" us to participate but when a grade is at stake, it's more forceful and less inviting.) I jumped into the trending hash tag with this tweet.

I hate to admit, but this is 100% true. I don't remember anything else besides this. It might be because I played a Star Wars app on my phone the whole 4 hours of the Saturday session but that is besides the point. And when priesthood session rolled around, I heard the perfect quote that belonged on my facebook wall. Hopefully my girlfriend didn't take this personally otherwise, I'll have to update my status to single pretty soon. 

It actually got a lot more notice than I thought it would. I was quite happy with this post because I was able to deliver a powerful quote and also lighten it up with my humor. Some people are able to bare their testimonies on social media but part of me doesn't feel comfortable doing that yet. This tweet I was a little more sincere and a little more heartfelt.

 The honest reasoning for this post was two reasons. One, I wanted to get retweeted by @ldschurch. I see them retweeting peoples posts all day long. And a lot of them, in my opinion, are not worthy of a like. The second reason was I needed to have three posts participating in the hash tag. And this closed the book for that assignment. Maybe because I had these not-so Godly motivations I didn't get retweeted or even three likes? But, I could use my own advice in this post. My posts don't need to be perfect to be worthy of being noticed, generating good or sharing the gospel. I shared my belief in a simple way. I shared the gospel in a simple way. God doesn't need us to have millions of followers and millions of likes, shares and comment in order to spread His word. He knows we are going to be scared. He knows that kids like me will share His word through humor. And that's okay. We don't need to be perfect to be worthy of His love. Who knows, if you participate He might even bless you by mentioning you in conference.

(He was talking about his dad Paul, but, I'll take credit either way.)

Easters Status

In one of my classes, we were asked to participate in a social media event for our church. Nothing crazy. They weren't asking us to go to all of our friends and post on their walls that they are going to hell to take a picture of us talking to snake. Nothing like that. Just participate in it. Share it, like it or post about it. And yet, I had such a hard time.

I made a post the other day about how I got a guy's number at work. I had no problem doing that. Sharing an embarrassing photo of myself, no problem. But posting something religious was taking it way to far. I don't know what it is inside of me that made me so scared to participate. I'm friends on my social media accounts with my friends. They care about me. They know who I am. They know what I believe and yet, I'm scared I'll offend them.

I see things on my social media accounts that I don't care for and so I scroll past it. Why would I think my friends are any different? So, I finally made the posts. I shared it, I liked it and I even  made my own status about it.

This whole experience was actually very eye opening for myself. I learned that I wasn't as confident in my testimony as I thought that I was. I learned that I feared the opinion's of my peers and desired their approval. I found out that I was very scared to do something so simple. So I started thinking of how I could participate in this social media event. It became less of an assignment and more of a personal ambition. It was like when I was learning to do a back flip on the trampoline or jumping off the high dive. I knew I could do it, I just was scared. And I tried to conquer the fear. When I finally made the jump, I trusted in myself a little bit more. I knew that I could do things that scared me; and when I finally made that post, I had the same sensation. I did something that scared me. It probably won't reach around the world and change anyone lives. But, it changed mine.

Education

In class a teacher said this to all of us, "The reason for this quiz is I want to check your understanding of your readings. Hopefully you have been reading to learn, not to just find the answers to the questions." What a joke. I have been programmed sense grade school that I read things to find the answers. I even check the questions before reading whatever the assignment is so I know what I am looking for. Because a lot of time if I read something and don't know what I am looking for, I'll miss the "golden nuggets" the teacher has deemed worthy of points. 

This is sad to say, but, I don't go to school to learn, I go to do assignments and take tests. A few of my classes that I took last semester I can't remember anything from them. And mom doesn't pay for school, I do. I can remember hearing, "Now pay attention, you will apply this in your life more than one way." Well, that's useful. I remember that I needed to remember something, but I don't remember what I was supposed to remember. And if I go two semesters back, I think I can remember one quote from one of my six teachers. "It's easy to say you'll do the right thing. But, when they start adding zeros on their offer, the right thing starts becoming a lot harder to do." If I'm offered twenty bucks I'm quite willing to do plenty of things. 

I feel like the tests I take don't show my learning abilities, it shows my ability to remember the answers. And then when I'm out of that class, that information is just about as useless as Bing or Yahoo. I pay college tuition and pay for the books my teachers think will generate good quiz questions just to get a grade. And all of that just to get a piece of paper that says, "He paid his fees and remembered the right information for his tests. You should hire him." And then there are a bunch of other kids out there like me who graduated with that exact same piece of paper and "quality" of education trying to get the same job. 

I have nothing against learning. I love learning. It answers so many questions to my life and seems to make it so much richer. Because things around me have a reason to being there and a story as to how they got there. I do have a problem with the way I'm learning though and the price I pay just to get a grade. (I wish I could say I pay to get an A but I'm not that smart and I don't want anyone to take that statement as a sexual innuendo.) The thing is though, do I have a solution to how the education system works? Ha, no. The only unique ideas I have is how to get the answers to the many, many tests I have taken. 

Happily Ever After?

I come from a broken home and in all honesty, this didn't deter me from the thought of being married. (And if my parents are reading this, I hope they know I do not blame them for how I am.) I used to think, I've seen what not to do, so, I won't do those things and I'll be the best husband. Ever. I remember telling people this when they would ask me about my parents divorce and it gave me an optimistic view on the future. But, as my life went on I learned and saw a lot more about life then just the experience from my family.

What about cheating? I want to say I would never cheat on my spouse, but, how do I know future me will be? I don't know what things will happen in my life and what I will become. Why would I want to put her through the pain of not feeling like she was enough? What of her? I can control myself. I am the "Master of my fate, the captain of my soul" (William Henley) But what of my significant other? I know I am completely counting my eggs before they hatch, heck, I'm counting my eggs before I even have a chicken. But, I am not the captain of her soul. She can choose and act for herself all she wants. What if at the end of my fairy tale ending there isn't a happily ever after? What if it's just me crying at the step of my castle because my bedroom is now empty?

Speaking of this fairy tale ending, what of the kids that get brought into this fairy tale? Can you imagine the ending of this story?

"Soon enough, they had a house full of beautiful children and they lived happily ever after. Until mom had an affair and soon the divorce papers were under way. The father was served and soon enough the kids had two homes, two moms and two dads. Two Christmases and two birthdays. And they had double the happily ever after."

I know I'm playing the "what if" game. I know there are countless talks out there and many, many scriptures about having faith. I know many people who would tell me these fears are not real, but, they're still fears. I have no idea how strong future me will be because I know how weak past me was. I have heard countless times, "I'm not getting married to get divorced." and "Divorce is not an option." Who wants to stay in a marriage all their life if they are unhappy? Why would I want to be in a home where I'm not loved? Why would I want to be miserable the rest of my life because, "It's not an option"? It won't be just me who gets hurt if things go wrong after the words "I do" are said.

I realize there are a lot of questions marks and my future is as bright as my faith. I know the sun will come up tomorrow and these are just fears. But, I don't want to get hurt. I don't want others to get hurt. That's just it, I'm scared. I'm afraid to make the choice, because, what if I make the wrong one?