Breakup Blues

We've all been here. Unless you're one of those perfect couples who have been dating since elementary. If so, leave. You're not invited to this festival of feelings. Now, that we got rid of the riff-raff we can get on with it.

Whether it was a yelling, crying or mutual break up, we have a mixture of feelings after the storm settles. Often times we are just in shock with taking it all in. This significant other in our life who was a constant is now gone. It takes a minute for us to wrap our head around it and coming with grips that we are now single and ready to mingle. Well, we are now single. The mingling will come after much Netflix and ice cream.

Then, the feels kick in and so the levy breaks with tears and a stream of questions. We relive all our memories of that person with a single thought. Years or months go by in a flash of emotions. The good ones and the bad ones. There is just this feeling of emptiness in our chest with a hollow feeling in our stomach. It takes a while for us to "pull ourselves together" but we all know there is a second wave a tears right around the corner.

     Personal story time, my summer fling had just walked out of my house for the last time as she was moving away. We had both laughed and cried within that time together. I stood up, blew my nose and walked around the house trying to find some sense of purpose. I found my chapstick on a counter, I set it up standing straight up and down but I didn't do a good enough job and it fell over. As soon as that chapstick hit it's side, I started crying again.

Then there is the period of waking up and realizing we are alone. This thought follows us around, creeping into our minds when we are not preoccupied with work or some task at hand. These thoughts are about as uninvited as a set of mormon missionaries knocking on your door during family dinner. Loved ones ask how we are and it takes a way to much effort to keep the tears back. They say time heals all wounds, but, it still takes time. And those feelings are still there. Couples pass by or friends make some lovey-dovy posts on facebook. And it's just another reminder that when you lay your head down at night, you'll be doing it alone.

There is some variation through the next phase. Either we can start to pick up the pieces and pull ourselves together or we can just keep falling apart and succumb to our emotions. The days get brighter and brighter each day we wake up alone. Or they grow darker and darker each time we are reminded of how single we truly are. How we react during this part is up to us. A lot of times, we go through rebounds in order for us to get our shiz together. Or we make choices to try to fill in that aching feeling.

Then there is the start of our new life after the break up. There is something more out there whether we accept it or not. There are new days to enjoy and friends to make. Or there are more days to dread and more people to hate. There are going to be more sunny days ahead along with raining days. Remember when our first love broke our heart? Mine was in Jr. High and she cheated on me with one of my best friends. I didn't think I would survive. I have the journal entries talking about how, "no one loves me" and "I'll die alone" to prove it. I didn't think I'd get through it, but, I did. I've had more break ups since then and so have all of you, but, we have a way of bouncing back, it just takes time.